Heart of Darkness
by runningthroughtheroses
Summary: "Her hand curled around the handle of the shovel. She was done letting Ali treat them all like dirt, like her own little puppets. She wasn't going to let her control them anymore...Spencer finally gave into her anger, and in one fast, solid motion, raised the shovel and smashed it into the side of her best friend's head."
1. Prologue

**This is something that's been floating around in my head for a while now. I've always loved "dark Spencer" and I wish that they'd done more with her storyline of being on the "A" team. So here we are. Unlike my other story, I'm writing this as I upload, so updates may be a little more sporadic. But reviews are always welcome - please let me know what you think so far!**

Prologue

"Hey! This conversation isn't over."

Everything felt strange. Colors were brighter, even though it was dark and stormy, and black was edging in on her vision. Her words sounded faint to her own ears, even though she was sure that she was shouting, but the sound of the leaves crackling under her shoes was amplified.

Something was wrong. She had felt weird for a few months, ever since her addiction had started to spiral out of control, yes. But this was different.

But even so, Spencer plowed on, her eyes focused on the bright yellow shirt in front of her.

"It _is_ over, Spencer." Alison whirled around, her curly blond hair whipping out of her face. She had never looked so angry. "And so are we."

But Spencer was positive that _she_ had never felt so angry, either. Alison had been trailing her around for months, keeping her on an increasingly short leash while whispering threats in her ear. Threats to expose Spencer's short-lived relationship with her older sister's boyfriend.

 _Jump,_ it was like Alison was saying, every time she and Spencer were alone together, or even when the other girls were around, only then she had to talk cryptically. And Spencer would jump, every time, because Ali just had that kind of power over her and everyone else.

But not anymore. Spencer was done.

"Don't you walk away from me," she shouted, barely aware of the words spilling from her mouth. She felt oddly detached, her voice toneless aside from a twinge of anger that had nothing on what she was really feeling.

But Alison didn't slow down, turning her back and continuing her long, cool stride. And that was when Spencer felt herself snap, the fury beginning to seep through her daze. "Dammit, Ali!"

A shovel sat in a wheelbarrow of dirt nearby, only a few yards from the plot of land that was to become the DiLaurentis' new gazebo. For months now, Spencer had laid awake at night, listening to the workers finish up, clanking, crashing, digging…

It. Drove. Her. Crazy.

And for some senseless reason she blamed Alison for that, too, in that moment. Everything was Ali's fault. It was _always_ Ali's fault.

She grabbed the shovel. Her knuckles whitened against it. She held it above her head. "I said stop!"

Now Alison turned. Her expression changed when she caught sight of Spencer, brandishing the shovel like a weapon. Not fear, exactly, but perhaps…wariness? "You're way out of your league, Spencer," she said, a warning tone to her voice that only served to make her former-friend angrier.

"Really? You sure about that?"

There was silence as Alison stared at her, but Spencer could only hear the buzzing that filled her ears. There was no doubt in her mind now. Something had happened to her before she had fallen asleep earlier that night. There was something going on with her mind, something that went way beyond the several pills she had taken before joining the others for the sleepover.

And she couldn't shake the thought that Alison was behind it.

"Why don't you put that thing down before you hurt yourself?" Ali snapped, and there was no mistaking it now. She was afraid. Freaked out, probably, that finally, _finally,_ someone was standing up to her.

Spencer only wished that she could properly enjoy it. But her rage was too fierce, controlling her actions as she stepped forward, swinging the shovel down toward the blonde.

And then the blackness momentarily took over and she tripped, her vision tilting as the ground came toward her. The shovel flew from her hands and she landed hard on her the ground.

Then her vision steadied, her heart settling back into the too-fast buzz that she had gotten used to over the past few weeks, and she rose back to her feet, locking her eyes on Alison's.

But something orange and glittering caught her eye, and she glanced down.

A small pill canister, laying innocently on the dirt. _Spencer's_ pill bottle. It had fallen out of her pocket when she'd tripped.

She could do nothing but stare for a long moment, barely able to comprehend how it could possibly have gotten here. She didn't even remember bringing it with her to the sleepover…but then again, she barely left her house without it these days.

She needed those pills. Those pills were the only things that kept her teetering on the edge of despair and stress instead of plunging right into it.

Alison's glittering blue eyes locked in on the pills, and Spencer felt her breath catch in her throat. She would not let Ali hold another secret over her head. She refused to be powerless anymore.

She acted quickly, stooping down, her hand outstretched, but Alison was faster. She scooped up the bottle and straightened back up, jumping back as Spencer lurched toward her, desperate. She had to get that canister…she had to, before Alison realized what they…

"Are you _speeding?_ " Alison stared at her, her face twisted in disgust and disbelief.

Dammit.

"Oh my God," Ali said, shaking her head and letting out a cruel laugh. "I can't believe it. You're _speeding."_

Spencer's vision had started to tunnel again. She could barely make out Alison around the black fuzziness, which was growing worse by the second. The work of the pills, or a panic attack, she couldn't tell which, but she could still make out the sneer on Ali's face, clear as day.

Alison was going to ruin her life with this. Spencer would be forever at her mercy, constantly trailing her around and afraid to speak for fear of setting her off, of saying the one wrong thing that would anger Alison enough to spill her secret.

Her heartbeat increased, growing more panicked as the weight of this sunk in. Alison knew all of their secrets. She had all of the power, and she always had, since the day she met them and took them in as her new friends.

Her new projects.

Spencer's hand curled around the handle of the shovel. This was it. She was done letting Ali treat them all like dirt, like her own little puppets. She wasn't going to let her control them anymore.

Ali looked up from examining the pill bottle, the smirk freezing on her face. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

It was too late, anyway.

Spencer finally gave into her anger, and in one fast, solid motion, raised the shovel and smashed it into the side of her best friend's head.


	2. Chapter 1

**Pretty disappointed that I only got one review...thanks to "Guest" for reviewing, and to fieldsl, HKcookie, and pinkcrazyness for the favorites/follows. Now we jump one year ahead, to sometime during season one/two. Not sure when I'll have the next chapter up, but feedback gives me more motive to keep writing!**

Chapter 1

 _One year later_

It was a normal, if somewhat dreary, November day when Hanna suddenly stood up from Spencer's couch. "Get out your phones," she commanded, ignoring her friends' alarm. "We're going to make a list."

Aria and Emily complied, exchanging a look of confusion, but Spencer hesitated. Obviously Hanna had just been inspired by some sort of idea, which was strange. Usually it was Spencer who jumped up out of nowhere with some thought that had just occurred to her. It was a little weird being out of the loop for once.

"Can I get some more details, Han?" she asked, but grabbed her phone from the coffee table anyway. "What, exactly, are we making a list of?"

Hanna was already walking over to Spencer's adjoined kitchen. She threw open a drawer and began rooting through it. "God, Spencer," she said in frustration after a moment. "Where do you guys keep your notebook paper?"

"Over by the phone," Spencer said slowly, standing and walking over to the cordless phone on the counter. She grabbed a pad of paper and handed it to her friend.

"Okay, so what's your big idea?" Aria asked once the two girls had rejoined them in the living room, Hanna carrying the pad and a pencil.

"We're going to put together a list," Hanna repeated, beginning to fiddle with her phone, "of all the texts we've gotten from 'A.'"

Spencer felt herself flinch. It wasn't a surprise that Hanna's plan had to do with "A." Lately it seemed like all any of them could think about was their anonymous stalker, who had been sending them cryptic messages for the past two months, threatening to reveal their deepest secrets if they didn't do what "A" ordered them to.

It seemed like the girls were spending all of their time lately either tracking down suspects, trying to keep their families and friends from figuring out what was going on, or jumping through hoops to keep "A" happy.

Spencer didn't like feeling so out of control. The last time she'd felt so powerless was back during the time after Ali disappeared… _died._ It had taken her weeks to push that memory down, of what she had done that night, to nearly wipe it completely from her mind.

So it wasn't completely out of the blue for Hanna to suddenly get an idea like this. But it did seem a little random, as well as a little annoying, considering this had been the first time in forever that they had all been together and not talking about "A."

" 'Be careful Hanna. I hear prison food makes you fat,'" Hanna was reading off of her phone, rolling her eyes. "Ugh, that's the first one I got."

Emily fidgeted from her seat across the room. She pulled her knees up to her chest and said, "No offense, Han, but I don't think I want to relive all the times that 'A' has held something over my head."

"Yeah," Aria agreed, setting her cell phone facedown on the table. "How is remembering all the times 'A' has tried to ruin our lives going to help us figure out who's doing this?"

"No," Spencer spoke up suddenly, inspired by their protests. It was no secret that the girls were convinced that "A" was at least connected to Alison's murderer, if not the same person. They all assumed that if they tracked down the person behind the pseudo name, they'd find out what happened to their old best friend, too.

And Spencer needed to make sure that they never changed their minds. As long as her friends were convinced that "A" and Ali's killer were one in the same, she'd be in the clear. "I think she's on to something," she said slowly, glancing at each of her three friends. "I mean, 'A' has to be someone we're close to, right?"  
"Exactly," Hanna agreed, smiling, clearly thrilled that the smart one in the group was on board with her plan. "It shouldn't be too hard to figure out who else we know talks in that same cryptic, creepy way."

Aria was beginning to nod. "We should find all of the handwritten notes 'A's' sent us, too, see if we can figure out the handwriting."

Spencer sat back against the sofa, repressing a smile as she watched her friends begin to scour their phones, scrolling intently through their messages and grabbing notepads to jot down various messages from their tormentor, occasionally grimacing at a particular taunt or threat.

She pulled out her own phone, too, and picked up a pencil, to not arouse suspicion. And anyway, it wasn't like she was any less desperate to uncover the identity of the elusive "A." Just because they weren't the one to kill Alison didn't mean that they weren't connected in some other way.

"Guys, I'm starving," Emily complained after a solid twenty minutes. "And I'm not making any connections. Can we take a break and head to the Brew?"

"Not now," Hanna said intently. She was sitting on the floor, scribbling on a piece of paper that was laid on the coffee table. "I think I'm onto something."

The other girls glanced at each other and rolled their eyes. More often that not, Hanna's "breakthroughs" ended only in dead ends.

"Melissa made some muffins yesterday," Spencer said, getting to her feet. "I'll grab whatever's left."

"Check for poison before you do!" Aria called, laughing along with Emily and Hanna.

Spencer sighed as she opened the fridge, pulling out the saran-wrapped plate of muffins. Lately, her older sister had been on the top of the girls' suspect list. At times, they seemed totally convinced that Melissa was Ali's killer.

They had no idea that they had the wrong Hastings' sister.

It always made Spencer uneasy whenever the others brought up Melissa. She was too close to home, too close to them figuring out the truth, and it made her uncomfortable.

In a weird, twisted way, Alison's body finally being found, along with the ensuing texts from "A" had brought the girls closer together after a year of being virtual strangers. Spencer had spent most of her sophomore year forcing down her pain and guilt, trying to convince herself that she couldn't possibly have done what she knew she really had by using that energy to win. At everything.

Now she finally had her old friends back. And she wasn't willing to lose them again. They could never know what she had done that night. So she had to do everything she could to keep the focus off of her family.

"Come on, you guys," she called back to her friends, forcing a laugh as she unwrapped the plate. "I thought we were over Melissa as a suspect."

Hanna said something in reply, but her words were drowned out by the sound of Spencer's phone going off. As she pulled it out of her pocket, she felt the familiar feeling of dread before she could even check the screen.

And sure enough, the words "Blocked Number" glowed up at her. Taking in a deep breath, she turned her back to the living room, not wanting the others to see her face once she opened the text.

 _Stop "digging" to expose me, or I'll expose you. I know what you did. –A_

...

 **Let me know what you think. Next chapter is going to jump to the season two finale, as most of this story takes place where season three would.**


	3. Chapter 2

**And here we go, chapter two! Thanks to HKcookie, Jmcncrlsd, and Quindecim for reviewing. I appreciate the feedback! This is a big chapter, and also where all of the similarities to the show's storyline end. From here on out, this is officially an AU. Like I said, reviews give me motivation, so the next chapter will be up either when I get seven or eight reviews, or by the end of next week. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 2

"This is 'A's' lair."

It was not at all what Spencer was expecting. "A" always seemed so flashy, so big and bold, so advanced…she had expected some sort of technology, maybe, or at least something a little bigger than Room Two at the Lost Woods Resort.

But what she had just stepped into was…dingy. It was dark and dank and filled with creepy photos of her and the others, but mostly of Alison. It looked like the sort of thing that a teenager would have thrown together, not an evil mastermind.

And somewhere in this room, Spencer knew, was proof of her biggest secret. Forget her meaningless little affairs with Ian and Wren, and the truth about the Jenna Thing.

"A" knew that she killed Alison. And Spencer had been growing more desperate, ever since she got that cryptic message, to make sure they never got the opportunity to tell anyone.

"We need to look through everything. Search for anything that might tell us anything about what happened to Ali," she said to Mona, using that explanation as a cover for why she really wanted to take a look around.

Spencer knelt down beside a pile of boxes and grabbed one, ripping it open and digging through. Inside were photographs. Hundreds of them, all piled neatly in stacks, each with a date written carefully on the back.

Pictures of Aria, in the middle of an intense lip-lock with Ezra Fitz. Pictures of Emily, standing at the scene of Alison's destroyed memorial. Pictures of a police report detailing Hanna as a shoplifter.

And pictures of Spencer, kissing Wren, talking to Ian, confronting Melissa…

But none showing her striking Alison over the head with a shovel.

Spencer shoved the box aside and grabbed eagerly for another. She suddenly didn't care what other dirt "A" had on her. All she needed was to erase any evidence of what she had done that horrible night. And if "A" wanted to continue their reign of terror after that, Spencer realized, she didn't even mind. Because it suddenly occurred to her that if they all stopped lying, "A" would have nothing to hold over their heads.

And Spencer swore to herself, in that moment, that as long as she could destroy any evidence that could place her as Ali's murderer, she would never keep another secret again.

"Spencer?" Mona called from across the room, and she jumped, having forgotten that she wasn't alone. "This has to be 'A's' costume."

"What?" It took Spencer a moment to remember what they were actually here for. Still lost in thought, she stood up, adjusted the heavy ball gown that she was still wearing, and crossed the room.

"I'll call Hanna," Mona said, handing a small stack of papers to Spencer and pulling out her phone.

Spencer stared down at the drawings. A puffy black dress covered in feathers. A matching mask. " 'A's' dressed as the black swan," she muttered, relief coursing through her. If "A" was at the masquerade, that bought her more time. Time to make sure she found what she needed.

Mona was standing behind Spencer, gazing around the room, and pulled a pack of gum out of her purse, holding it out. "Gum?"

 _What?_ That was the farthest thing from Spencer's mind. "Um, no thanks," she mumbled, letting her arm holding the papers with the dress designs fall to her side as she walked over to an old wooden desk, picking up the little black and white journal that sat on it.

She had seen that journal before, she was sure of it, but she couldn't put her finger on where until she began flipping through it. The loopy, curly handwriting was unmistakable, handwriting she hadn't seen in over a year. "This is Ali's diary," she said, mostly to herself, just as she realized where she'd seen that black swan costume before. "Melissa was the black swan at a charity ball in Philly last year."

The thought that her sister could be "A" was somewhat concerning, Spencer had to admit. But then again…would Melissa really want Spencer thrown in jail? Would her own _sister_ threaten her like that?

Spencer stared down at the journal in her hands. Ali had brought that thing practically everywhere with her, was always leaning over it and shielding it with her hand whenever anyone tried to sneak a peek. She could only imagine what Ali had written in there…about _her._

Maybe even enough to tell that she and Alison hadn't exactly been on the best of terms leading up to the night that Ali ended up buried underneath the gazebo construction.

"You don't think she'd do anything to try and hurt you, do you?" Mona was saying, flipping through the black swan designs, but her voice sounded far away.

Spencer shook her head, dazed, her mind still focused on Alison. "Why would you ask me that?" she asked, horrified. Sure, Ali had been kind of a huge bitch to Spencer before her death, but she wouldn't have actually –

"Well, I just thought that's what you meant. Melissa's the black swan. Maybe she's 'A.'"

Oh. Melissa. Right. Spencer frowned, not taking her eyes off of the journal. Suddenly, her head felt like it was going to explode. Reaching a hand up to rub her temple, she said, "Actually, can I have that gum now?"

"Sure," Mona chirped, but frowned once she pulled out the empty pack. "Oh. You know, I think I have more in the car, so I'll be right back, okay?"

"Yeah," Spencer murmured, glad for the opportunity to be alone. She needed to look through that diary, to find out just how much of Spencer and Alison's relationship "A" knew, and she didn't need Mona asking a bunch of questions.

She kneeled down, weighing the journal in her hands, and it fell open to a page marked with a gum wrapper. Her eyes scanned over the writing – some vague story about a girl nicknamed "Pigskin," apparently – before she focused on the wrapper.

Gum. Wait a minute.

Spencer set down the journal, memories of "That Night" temporarily forgotten. Her eyes landed on a shopping bag, stuffed with tissue paper, and she reached out for it, digging beneath the paper and pulling out a piece of clothing.

"Cashmere sweaters," she whispered, turning the bag over in her hands and recognizing the name on the sticker as a store in Philly. A cold feeling washed over her.

"I got the gum," Mona said from the doorway, her voice suddenly sharp, just as Spencer put the pieces together.

"You didn't call Hanna, did you?" she asked quietly, rising to her feet and turning to stare at the smaller girl, who had exchanged her dress for the black hoodie that Spencer had been expecting, but was still surprised to see.

 _This was all a trap,_ she realized, and her next words fell from her mouth before she was even conscious of thinking them. "Because you're 'A.'"

"Congratulations, Spencer," Mona snapped, looking like a completely different person with the black hood pulled around her face. "You figured it out."

Spencer could barely breathe. And in the next moment, pain exploded in her head, and everything went black.

…

She woke to the sound of a car bumping along gravel, and opened her eyes slowly, realizing all at once what was going on.

She had just unmasked "A."

Mona was "A." And she knew Spencer's deepest secret.

She groaned in pain and turned her head, sitting up. Mona was beside her, in the driver's seat, steering the car up the steep, sloping cliff toward Lookout Point at a dangerously fast speed.

"What's going on?" Spencer asked, feeling her heart pounding wildly in her chest. There was nothing up at Lookout Point except for the fifty foot high cliff side. There would be no reason to go there unless…unless someone wasn't going to come back down. "What are you doing?"

"I had to get you alone, so we could talk," Mona replied, her voice strangely monotone. Spencer could hardly believe it. Out of all of their suspects over the past months, everyone who had made a vague threat or acted suspicious…

This was almost funny. She would have laughed, had she not felt paralyzed with terror. "Okay," she said slowly, shifting and feeling something small and hard digging into her side… _her phone_. "So let's talk," she stalled, slowly reaching her hand down to pull her cell phone out of the pocket of her jacket. Once she had it safely in her lap, she glanced down at it, just in time to see Aria's name pop up as a new call came in.

"I admire you, Spencer," Mona said, turning the wheel sharply as the car shot around a curve. Spencer's stomach flipped. "I want to make you an offer. We can be in this together."

"You're asking me to be 'A' with you?" Spencer asked, her voice trembling and finally cracking. Her finger covered over the "video call" button. "And what if I say no?"

"Then you'll be wearing an orange jumpsuit instead of a black hoodie." Mona smiled and suddenly slammed on the brakes. The car jerked to a stop, in the middle of the road, and Spencer lurched forward, her hands shooting out to stop her inches before her face connected with the dashboard.

"What?" she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. She felt lightheaded, like this couldn't be real, it was all some horrible dream…

"What, you thought that text I sent you was just a joke?" Mona snapped, turning to look at her, and Spencer forced down the urge to respond with a sarcastic "which one?"

She knew exactly which one. It was the only one, out of so many threatening "A" messages and texts, that she had looked at enough to burn to her memory.

"How do you know?" she choked out, her throat suddenly dry. She glanced to her right, at the door handle. All she had to do was wait for the right opportunity, and she could…

As if reading her thoughts, Mona flipped a switch on the dash, and every door locked with a simultaneous _click._ Spencer felt her heart sink, and even more so when the smaller girl spoke. "I saw you hit Alison that night," she said almost triumphantly, pulling out what looked to be a burner phone and fiddling with it for a moment. "And I have proof."

Then she held the phone out for Spencer to see the video that was beginning to play. It was somewhat bad quality, obviously taken from behind a bush or tree, and the sound was dim, but there was no mistaking the two girls that stood facing each other in clear view of the camera, one in a yellow tank top, the other in an argyle sweater.

"Oh my God," Alison's familiar, shocked voice came through the phone's speakers, and Spencer leaned back against the seat, trying to push herself as far away as possible from that horrible video, that horrible memory. "I can't believe it. You're _speeding._ "

Spencer watched the younger version of herself, looking dazed, reach for the shovel. She closed her eyes. She didn't need to see what happened next – she already knew.

But even so, Mona didn't stop the video, and Spencer heard the dull thump of the shovel connecting with Ali's skull all too clearly. Her vision spun behind her closed eyelids. She was sure that she was going to puke.

"How did you see that?" she finally asked, taking in a deep breath and opening her eyes only once she was sure that the video had ended. "How did you see _everything?_ "

"You're not the only genius in this car, Spencer," Mona snapped, and even through her own agony, Spencer detected the bitterness in her tone. "And now you're going to make a choice. Either you join the team, or 'A' sends that video straight to the police."

Spencer couldn't think straight. She glanced down, looking around wildly for her phone, only to spot it laying on the floor of the car, the screen shattered. It must have fallen when the car had jolted to a stop.

She was alone with "A." Her friends had no idea where she was, and there was no way she could get out of this car without making a choice.

Either join the "A" team and betray her friends, or be convicted of Alison's murder, after all this time.

She and the others had been tormented by "A" for months. Their lives had been made miserable by this single tormentor, someone so omnipresent and willing to expose their deepest secrets. They had all lived in fear, through it all – the homecoming disaster, Hanna's accident, Ian's murder…could Spencer really actively participate in something so horrible, just to save her own skin?

The answer suddenly stuck out to her, so obvious that the words appeared on the tip of her tongue.

Spencer took in a deep breath and turned in her seat, meeting Mona's eyes. "You don't have to say any more," she said, her voice surprisingly steady. "I'm in."


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks to Quindecim, smiles, and Deserttail for reviewing! I really appreciate the support. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, with a bit of friendship Sparia thrown in there - next chapter should be up sometime next week, hopefully. Please let me know what you think!**

Chapter 3

"Spence!" Hanna sat up straighter and waved, motioning for Spencer to join her and the others at the table in the quad.

Spencer took in a breath, held back a grimace, and lifted one finger in a "just a minute" gesture. Then she turned away, pressing her back against the window of the cafeteria and closing her eyes.

Forcing herself to remain calm, she thought back to the previous night, starting with the moment she got to the masquerade. Once she was sure that she had her story straight, she pushed through the cafeteria doors and joined her friends at the table.

"Hey," Aria greeted, her brow furrowing in concern. "You alright, Spencer?"

Spencer slid into the seat beside her, wondering immediately if the guilt was _that_ evident on her face. "Um, yeah. I'm fine." But her tone sounded flat, even to herself.

"I get it," Emily said with a sigh, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table. "We're all disappointed."

"God." Hanna glanced around conspiratorially, then said under her breath, "You and Mona really didn't find _anything_ at that motel?"

Instantly, Spencer felt her hands begin to shake. She shoved them under the table quickly, clasping them together. "I told you," she said intently, launching into the lies that she had rehearsed in her head and hating every minute of it. "We snuck into the room we thought 'A' was staying in. It was totally empty."

"And you didn't find anything?" Aria asked incredulously. "No…pictures, or messages, or anything from 'A?'"

"I doubt 'A' would make it that easy," Emily muttered, rolling her eyes in frustration and leaning back in her seat.

Spencer forced herself to nod. In fact, "A" really _had_ made it that easy. Mona had led Spencer right to her lair, knowing full well that she would make the connection. And Spencer had fallen right into her trap.

Suddenly hit by a wave of nausea, she pressed her hand to her stomach and took in a sharp breath. Her friends all glanced at her, exchanging expressions of concern. She tried to arrange her face back into a normal expression, hoping she didn't look too pale. It was way, _way_ too early to arouse suspicion.

Thankfully, just as Emily was opening her mouth to speak, she glanced toward the cafeteria, her eyes lighting up. "There's Paige," she said, pulling the strap of her bag over her shoulder. "I should go talk to her. I kind of ran out on her last night."

"And I need to find Caleb," Hanna agreed. "He's leaving to go see his mom after school and I still have to thank him for last night." She smiled suggestively and Emily groaned, grabbing her arm.

Spencer glanced over at Aria, torn between hoping that the smaller girl would stay and keep her company, and that she would also have a reason to leave. She wasn't sure what she wanted more – to be alone, or to have a friend nearby. Right now, she felt like she needed one more than ever.

But Aria made the decision before Spencer could figure it out. "We'll catch up with you guys later," she said with a smile, and Hanna and Emily headed inside.

Surprised, despite herself, Spencer raised her eyebrows. "Don't you want to go see – "

"Are you sure you're okay, Spence?" Aria cut in before Spencer could even get out Ezra's name. "You've been looking kind of spacey all day."

Unsure of how to answer, she looked down, fiddling with her hands and chipping away some of her blue nail polish. "I'm fine," she said again, not meeting Aria's eyes. But she could still feel her friend's gaze on her, so she cleared her throat and continued, "I'm just a little freaked, you know? I really thought we were onto something last night."

"Look," Aria said, wrapping her hand around Spencer's wrist before she could pull away. "I get it. We're all disappointed. But I think I'm more freaked about that message we got yesterday. About someone leaving in a body bag? I mean, no one died, but that doesn't mean no one's going to. We know what 'A' is capable of."

Spencer flinched, unable to stop the movement. She had completely forgotten about the "A" message that had accompanied the invitations to the ball. "A" – Mona – had promised that someone wouldn't be making it back from the masquerade if she didn't get her phone back from the girls by midnight. But she had been too busy convincing Spencer to join the team to actually carry out that threat.

Unless it wasn't supposed to happen that night at all. Maybe Mona really did have plans to hurt someone.

And maybe Spencer was supposed to help.

She fought back a sudden surge of bile rising in her throat. No. She would play the "A" game if that was what it took to make sure no one found out that she was really Alison's killer.

But she would never stoop so low as to hurt – let alone kill – another person. She had been down that road before, and repressing the memories of that horrible night was the only way that she could live with herself. If she actually helped someone else meet their end…she didn't even want to think about what she would do.

"Spencer?" Aria's voice, sounding faraway and way outside of Spencer's wandering thoughts, pulled her back to reality.

Startled, she remembered that she had been asked a question. "You're right," she mumbled, drumming her fingernails on the table. "We have no idea what 'A' could be planning next."

"God, it never ends, does it?" Aria burst out, in clear irritation. "We're going to be 'A's' puppets forever."

Spencer's head was spinning. She wasn't sure how much more of this conversation she could handle, how much she was willing to lie to one of her best friends about something so huge. Aria had absolutely no idea, watching Spencer with big, trusting eyes, that her friend had turned to the dark side.

And she never would, if Spencer had anything to do with it. She would stay on the "A" team long enough to destroy any evidence Mona had connecting her to Alison's murder, and then would go to her friends and the police and tell them everything – everything _else,_ that is.

Her friends never had to know the truth.

But Spencer still squirmed under Aria's gaze, like her friend could see right through her, could tell just by her expression that something was off. "I've got to go," she stammered out, jumping to her feet and grabbing her coffee. "I have to go to my locker before class starts."

"Okay," Aria said, startled. She began to get up as well. "Why don't I come with – "

"No!" she blurted a little too quickly, and Aria stared at her, her eyebrows shooting up. Spencer paused, resisted the urge to punch herself, and started over. "Go see Ezra," she said with a smile, nudging Aria. "I'll see you at lunch."

Aria hesitated, clearly unsure. But then a smile broke through her concerned expression and she squeezed Spencer's arm, rushing off.

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief and waited a few moments before following, keeping her head down and focusing on the history book in her hands as she walked to her locker. She didn't see her friends anywhere, but she didn't want to take any chances – she wasn't sure if she could handle another conversation about Alison or "A" right now.

She spun the combination on her locker and swung the door open. Then she pulled open her bag and began removing the books that she had taken home the night before. The familiar feeling of textbooks in her hands eased the pounding of her heart a bit, enough to stop the hallway from spinning around her.

Until she reached the bottom of her bag. Her fingers brushed against something soft. Without thinking, she closed her hand around it and had it halfway out of her bag before she realized what she was doing and gasped, shoving it back out of sight.

She shut her locker door quietly and glanced around. No one was watching, and no one who would ask questions was even in eyeshot to begin with. But that didn't do much to ease her paranoia.

Closing her eyes, Spencer turned in the direction of her first period class and headed toward it, reaching down to zip closed her bag as she did so, the black hoodie disappearing from sight.


	5. Chapter 4

**It took me a while to figure this chapter out, but here it is! Thanks to PLLForever48, Quindecim, Deserttail, Jmcncrlsd, and Guest for reviewing. I appreciate the support and I hope that you enjoy! Please R &R to let me know what you think!**

Chapter 4

It was three days later when Spencer stopped in front of room number two at the Lost Woods Resort, pulling out her phone one last time to check the blocked text message.

 _Meet Friday at four. You know the place._

Her mind flashing back to the last time she was here, back before her whole life turned upside down, Spencer raised her hand and knocked on the wooden door, feeling her purse quicken. She was wearing the black hoodie, the hood pulled loosely over her head. She was about to go to her first "A" meeting.

Once she entered through that door, she would officially be on the other side.

Panic seized her, and she was just thinking about taking off running when the door swung open and Mona stood in front of her, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. "Come in," she said, gesturing for Spencer to enter.

She did so, with much reluctance, a shudder passing through her as she took in the creepy décor of the place. The blown-up photographs of Alison, the eyes stabbed through. The photos of Spencer and the others papering every wall. The wooden dollhouse sitting in the corner, four familiar-looking dolls inside.

"Coffee?" Mona asked, shutting the door and grabbing a mug from the table.

"No," Spencer said faintly, shaking her head. She felt a little like she had just entered another dimension. "I'm…good."

"I'm surprised you came," the smaller girl went on, pouring coffee for herself and sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. "I was beginning to think I might have to use…other methods to get you here."

Spencer's heart rate quickened. "Of course I came," she snapped, too quickly. "I'm part of the team now, aren't I?"  
"It's not going to be that easy," Mona said darkly, setting the mug down hard on the desk. "I need to know that your loyalties have really changed."

Spencer stared at her, speechless. It was still difficult for her to wrap her mind around the thought of shallow, fashion-obsessed Mona actually being an evil mastermind, just as smart as Spencer herself.

Maybe even smarter.

She forced that awful thought out of her head and swallowed hard. She would do whatever it took to prove that she was fully on the "A" team if it meant clearing any guilt from her name. "What do I have to do?"

"I need to get that phone back," Mona explained, examining her fingernails. "It has more information on it than any of the others."

Spencer winced at the thought of multiple "A" phones, but nodded along, frowning. "You want me to steal it back."

"Wow, you catch on quick."  
Spencer pushed the hood off of her head, folding her arms to hide the fact that her hands had just started to shake. "And if I do, I'll gain your trust?"

Mona smirked a little, not meeting her eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Just get the phone back, and we'll see."

…

Hanna was on her way to her locker the next morning, debating whether to spend the next ten minutes before class started studying for a science test or texting Caleb (although really, it wasn't much of a debate), when she spotted Spencer through the windows. She was sitting alone in the quad, sipping coffee and fiddling with her hands.

Hanna frowned and started toward her, her brow furrowing. Spencer had been acting strange ever since the night of the masquerade. She had been even more jittery than usual, always checking out of conversations and acting like she was on another planet.

But Hanna couldn't really blame her. That room at the Lost Woods Resort had been their biggest lead on "A" to date. They had been so sure that they were going to find something there linking them to their tormentor, Spencer most of all. She was probably just still dealing with how to move on and try again.

"Hey," Hanna called, taking a seat across the table from Spencer. "How's it going?"  
Spencer didn't respond, still staring listlessly down at the coffee cup in her hands. There was no indication that she had heard, so Hanna snapped her fingers and said loudly, "Spence!"

The brunette girl jerked in surprise, a bit of coffee sloshing out of the cup. "Hey," she said in surprise, her eyes finally focusing on Hanna. "Sorry, I didn't – I didn't hear you."  
"Yeah, I figured," Hanna grumbled, setting her purse on the table and pulling out her phone. "What were you thinking so hard about, anyway?"

"Nothing," Spencer replied immediately, averting her eyes. "It's just…it's been a crazy week, you know?"  
"I know," Hanna agreed, casting her eyes down to the table. "I thought once Garrett was arrested we'd finally start putting an end to this."

"Put an end to what?" a much more upbeat voice cut in. Aria slid into the seat beside Hanna, with Emily right behind her.

"Are you guys still talking about what happened at the masquerade?" Emily asked, her voice low. She glanced around, as if making sure that no one was in earshot.

"Yeah, don't you guys think it's time to move on?" Aria added, resting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. "Why is this any different than the other thousand times we've tried to get information on 'A?'"

"Because we've never been this close before," Hanna insisted, amazed that her friends weren't as unsettled as she was. Lately, it seemed like Aria and Emily – especially Aria – cared just as much about their love lives as they did about tracking down "A" and finding out what happened to Alison…maybe even more.

As much as Hanna loved Caleb, she couldn't imagine putting aside her focus on "A," unless it was to keep him safe. And she knew, like a sharp punch to the gut, how well that always worked out.

"We know that Alison stayed at that place as Vivian right before she died," she went on in a whisper. "And we still have 'A's' cell phone. We can't give up now and just let 'A' win, not when we're this close."

At the mention of the phone, Spencer's head snapped up, her eyes suddenly focused again. "You still have the phone?" she asked, seemingly oblivious to Hanna's alarm.

"Um, yeah, of course I do. Why?"

"I need to borrow it," Spencer said intently, her eyes locked on Hanna's. "Just for a few days."

Aria and Emily both leaned forward, their attentions caught. "Why?" Emily asked. "Did you find something?"

"No," Spencer said slowly, tapping her fingers almost erratically against the table. "But I, um, I was reading online about some tips for hacking into phones. I think I might be able to get some more information out of it."

"Wait, I thought Caleb said that 'A' totally wiped it clean," Aria interjected, shaking her head. Hanna flinched instinctively. She still felt a twinge of anger every time she thought about her friends coercing Caleb into helping them crack "A's" phone, even after she'd begged them not to. The last thing she wanted was "A" targeting him again.

"Yeah," Spencer went on, glancing around at them. "But nothing's gone forever, right? I don't know for sure, but I might be able to get something out of it. It's at your house, right?" She looked over at Hanna. "Can I come over and get it later?"  
Hanna hesitated, even as Aria and Emily began to smile, on board with the new plan. "I don't know if that's such a good idea," she protested, feeling the slight tremble in her voice. "What if 'A' finds out we're messing with it again? We know how badly they want it back."  
Spencer paused, her eyes wide and shining with what Hanna recognized as the look she got whenever she was invigorated with a new plan. "So what if 'A' does find out? It's not like they can make our lives any worse than they already are."

"She's right, Han," Emily added. " 'A' almost killed me last month with those steroids. We need to take whatever lead we can get."

Hanna looked between her friends, all three of them watching her with eager expressions, clearly ready to jump onto a new possible lead. "Fine," she relented at last, sighing. "I'll bring it over to your house tonight. We can work on it together."

The triumphant smile on Spencer's face fell at Hanna's last words. "Oh, um, actually, I'm…going out with Toby tonight. And anyway, we don't need two people for this. Why don't I pick it up on my way home? I have a secret hiding spot in my room, it'll be safe there."

"Are you sure about that?" Hanna asked without thinking. "Does Melissa know about this hiding place?"

Spencer winced, her expression darkening. Hanna exchanged a glance with Aria and Emily, shrugging. To her, it seemed obvious that, even if Melissa wasn't Alison's killer, she was involved somehow, as much as Spencer tried to deny it. And Hanna wasn't sure she liked the idea of their biggest – and only – clue toward "A's" identity being in her reach.

"It'll be fine," Spencer said sharply. "Melissa doesn't know about it."

"Okay," Hanna blurted, surprised that Spencer didn't even try to defend her sister like usual. But then again, nothing about the way Spencer was acting was normal right now. There was definitely something going on with her.

And for some reason, Hanna couldn't shake the feeling that it had to do with a lot more than just the cell phone.

...

 **So Spencer has her first task to prove that she's officially on the team, and Hanna is beginning to suspect something. Again, let me know what you think. Next chapter should be up someone next week.**


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